The ARC's Sexiest Single Man
by pinkcat4569
Summary: There is dissension in the ARC, but not over some moral or leadership question.  Its over who is the sexiest single man.
1. Chapter 1

Title: The ARC's Sexiest Single Man

Rating: T

Spoilers: Series 5

Description: There is dissension in the ARC, but not over some moral or leadership question. Its over who is the sexiest single man.

Disclaimer: I don't own Primeval or the characters.

Author's Note: This story was inspired by Lt. Vale, my OC. I saw him as a ladies' man, not the arrogant, wolf after only ne thing, but a kind, funny, honest lover of women. Vale is smart, capable, and one of Becker's most trusted men. He has one other attribute which is the center of this story. Like Becker, Vale is pretty darn sexy.

The ARC's Sexiest Single Man, chapter one

"What in the heck?" asked an unhappy Jess.

"What's wrong, honey," asked her boyfriend, Captain Becker.

"Have you seen this email?"

"I leave the computer stuff to you."

"Ooh!" she said, clearly miffed. "I can't believe someone would post this, and to every ARC female!"

"Really? Is it scandalous?" asked Becker, interested.

"Yes, very scandalous," said Jess.

Becker leaned over her shoulder and read from her computer screen, "Who is the sexiest man in the ARC?' Huh."

"Huh? That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"How about, 'how horrible?' or 'that's sexist?"

Becker shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal, Jess."

"What? It is too! Why aren't you upset?"

"Why are you?"

"I don't want my boyfriend ogled."

Becker smirked. "You don't?"

"Not by other people. I can ogle you," she said with a grin.

He laughed.

"OK, so its not really the ogling that's upsetting me," said Jess. "Read the rest."

Becker read, "We all know there are a lot of beefy guys working around us, but who do you think is the absolute sexiest? Let's vote on it. The rules are one vote from each email account. To keep happy unions happy, we are only counting the single men. Type in the name, for example, Captain Becker, and send it to me. We will keep count by the mens' names. At the end of two weeks, I will announce the winner via email."

He smiled. "You're mad because I was the 'for example?' Shouldn't you be happy your boyfriend is hot?"

She looked up, backwards, from her seated position. "Becker, I know you're hot. I love you being hot."

"So what's wrong?"

"It says, 'single,' Becker. Single!"

"Uh, Jess. I am single."

"You are not!"

"Do you see a ring on this finger?"

"I don't mean not married, Becker."

"That's usually the definition of 'single,' Jess."

"No, 'single,' means unattached. You are attached to me. Don't you forget it."

"Maybe you better remind me," he said with a smirk.

She narrowed her eyes, got up from her chair, and poked him in the stomach. "You're mine."

"I kind of hoped for a gentler, kissier reminder, babe."

She smiled sweetly. "That's an excellent idea," she said.

She turned to the ops room. There were six women milling about. Great. "Listen up, women of the ARC. In case you've read your email this morning, I just want to make something clear."

She then jumped up and kissed the heck out of Becker. When she was done she jumped down, wiped her mouth and said, "He is NOT single. Thank you for your attention." She smiled sweetly and sat at the ADD, leaving a slightly rattled Becker.

"On second thought," said Becker, "I want to change my 'no big deal' opinion."

"Good," said Jess. "I'm glad that you think its awful too."

"No," he said with a smirk. "I think its an awesome idea. Feel free to remind the girls as often as you want, even past the two weeks."

She smiled. "You're awful."

"True, but I am yours," he said with a kiss to her head. "Have to go to work."

Jess watched him leave. She felt more at ease now. She was even scolding herself for getting worked up. Then she saw the OPs women watching him leave too. She really hated ogling.

"Stupid email," she muttered. "I will remind every girl in the ARC. He isn't single."

Jess had simmered down by lunch, but as she stood in line in the canteen, she began to boil again.

"It's silly," said a female tech. "Becker's going to win."

"I know. I'd definitely like to make him un-single."

"He is un-single girls," said Jess, sweetly.

"Oh, hi," said one of them. "Didn't see you there, Jess."

"Obviously. Just to make it clear, Becker is not single."

"I know you two are dating, but he isn't married or engaged, so he's single."

Jess lowered her eyes. "I wouldn't say that again, Mary."

Mary's eyes widened, and she laughed.. "Whoa. You're scary, you know that? Relax, Jess. I'm not going to steal him or anything, it's just that technically, he is single."

"Are you girls talking about that stupid email?" asked Lieutenant Vale, third in command after Becker and Lt. Flowers.

"They are. I'm done," said Jess. "Becker's not single."

"I thought you were done," said Mary, teasingly.

"I agree with you, Jess. Becker is not single. He shouldn't be considered."

"Thank you, Vale."

"And if he's not considered, then obviously, I am the sexiest single man in the ARC."

Mary smiled. "Don't worry, you're definitely in contention."

"Contention?" asked Vale, irately. "I'm way more than in contention."

"Yes, you are," said Jess. "You are the sexiest single man."

"Thank you, Jess."

"You're welcome."

Mary shook her head and left for a table.

"I think you should be very upset, Vale. You aren't getting the recognition you deserve."

"That's very sweet of you, Jess. You're right, of course," he said, flashing a winning, brilliant smile.

Jess giggled. Vale carried both their trays to a table. They shared lunch, giggling and laughing and commiserating over the distress of the email.

To others in the canteen, they looked cozy.

"Hey, Becker," said Connor. "I saw Jess and Vale in the canteen. What's up with them?"

"What do you mean?"

"They were acting kind of weird. They seemed angry about something."

"Really? I was on my way to the canteen to join Jess. Are they still there?"

"Yeah," said Connor. "I hope everything's OK."

"Me too," said Becker.

He walked in the canteen and sure enough, there was Vale and Jess.

"Hi," said Becker.

Vale saluted him, and Jess blew him a kiss. Becker sat down.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," said Jess.

"Except indignant outrage," said Vale.

"Oh, yeah," said Jess. "Nothing but that."

Becker looked confused. "What are you talking about?"

"How sexy I am," said Vale.

"And how single," said Jess.

Becker rolled his eyes. "You're still going on about that, Jess? It's silly. And you Vale, you've got to be kidding. Who cares?"

"I do, Cap. Look, you're the Captain. I am your subordinate. You can out shoot me, out wrestle me, and out girlfriend me," he said with a glance to Jess, who smiled. "I just want to beat you once, Sir."

Becker chuckled and shook his head. "You're nuts. Both of you, are nuts." He stood up. "I want you two to stop this, right now. Hear me?"

"Yes, sweetie," said Jess.

Becker frowned and walked to get lunch.

"I think I made him mad," said Vale.

"He'll be fine," said Jess, squeezing his hand. "Don't worry."

He smiled. "Hey, there's a bunch of menagerie girls leaving together. It's a perfect opportunity to campaign for myself. Later."

"Go get them," she said, with a laugh.

Vale jumped off, running after the girls, but stopped in front of Becker. He smiled at his commander, but then turned to Jess when Becker wasn't looking and winked at her.

Jess smiled.

Vale ran after the girls, and Jess greeted her boyfriend as he sat beside her.

Behind them, several tables away was a table of female medical staff.

"Did you see that?" asked a nurse named Adele. "Jess and Vale flaunting it in front of Becker."

"Flaunting what?" asked Beverly, an older nurse and friend to Jess and Becker. "What are you talking about."

"Didn't you see them, Bev?" asked another nurse, Tisha. "I can't believe anyone would two-time Becker."

Beverly choked on her tea. "What? That's crazy. They are very much in love. Besides, Jess wouldn't cheat on anyone."

"The evidence was right there, Beverly," said Adele. "The giggling and whispering that stopped when Becker caught them."

"Poor Becker," said Tisha. "He knows too. You saw his face when he confronted them. "I want you two to stop this," he said. Oh, Poor Becker."

"You're jumping to conclusions. We couldn't hear everything they said." said Beverly.

"I know their friends of yours, Bev, but honestly, it was obvious. Poor Becker," said Adele.

"Poor Becker," agreed Tisha.

"You're both silly," said Beverly.

After lunch, Becker and the team had an anomaly alert. It was relatively easy, but Becker had a small claw mark on his hand that Lester insist he go to medical about.

Adele treated him. "Oh, hi Becker. Sit down. You poor thing."

"It's barely anything, Adele. I'm fine."

She shook her head sadly, and patted his shoulder. "You're so brave. You're in denial, though. You're not fine, and its OK."

Becker looked at her in confusion. "No, really. I'm fine. It's just a scratch." Then he smiled. "I am brave though. I can handle it, I think."

She looked at him with compassion. "You deserve better, you know. How some people can treat such good people like you so badly."

"What are you talking about?"

Adele just shook her head. "Don't worry. I'm not one to gossip."

"Adele, I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm fine. No one is treating me badly."

Adele grabbed her heart like it had been wounded. "Oh, you poor, poor thing. Imagine, Jess and Vale betraying you like that."

Becker laughed. "Oh, that, it's no big deal. Vale can have the honor."

"What?" asked Adele, shocked. "He can? You don't care?"

"Not at all. Let him have his turn, but between you and me, it'll be back to me in no time."

Adele looked scandalized. "That's disgusting! You disgust me!"

"What? Why? Let the women think he's the sexiest. I don't care, and technically I'm not single. Jess is right, but don't tell her that."

Adele stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

The stupid email this morning that asked who is the sexiest single man in the ARC. The one Jess and Vale are fired up over. Jess is mad because they called me single. Vale is just vain, and stupid."

Adele was aghast. "That's what they were talking about at lunch? That's what you told them to stop?"

"Yeah. Why? What did you think?" asked Becker.

Adele stood still, blushing bright red. Then there was loud laughter just outside the examination room, and Becker saw Beverly doubled-over and laughing hysterically.

"What's going on, or are all the ARC women just bonkers?"

Becker walked briskly to the ADD. He was a little annoyed but mostly amused. He couldn't wait to see the look on Jess' face.

He swiveled her chair around to face him.

"Becker! Don't do that! You scared me, and made me dizzy."

Becker smirked. "Have I got some gossip for you."

Jess grinned. "Tell me, tell me," she said with glee.

"Well, there's this couple, and they seem very happy and in love."

"Ooh, Go on."

He smiled. "Well, it seems the young lady was spied today having lunch with another man."

"And..."

"They were very chummy, and acting goofy, and laughing."

"Go on."

"Then her boyfriend shows up, and it looks like he's confronting them about being together."

"No!"

"Yes, but then the other guy leaves and the couple have lunch and are all lovey-dovey and sweet."

"That's weird."

"It gets weirder. It seems the boyfriend was in medical earlier and the nurses there all thought, except one, that the girlfriend was a tease and a hussy."

"Sounds like it."

"Then, the boyfriend started talking about the girlfriend and the other bloke, saying he didn't mind and it wasn't a big deal and the nurses thought he was some sort of pervert."

"Uh, yeah."

"Except, it was all a big misunderstanding because the girlfriend and the other guy were actually talking about some stupid email and dumb sexy contest that the boyfriend thought was stupid, and the couple weren't on the outs or perverted, the girlfriend was just silly."

Jess blushed red and frowned at him. "You didn't have to tell the story that way, you know."

Becker chuckled. "Beverly thought it was hysterical, but the other nurses were quite embarrassed. They really thought you and Vale were messing around on me."

"I can't believe they'd think that."

"Connor thought you were acting strange too."

"He thought we were cheating on you?"

"No," said Becker with a chuckle. "He thought you were angry about something. He was right, actually, he just never dreamed it was something so stupid."

"OK, OK. You're right. I'm sorry. I've been over-reacting. I just didn't want the girls to think you were free."

"They didn't. They just thought you were a floozy."

Jess glared at him, and he smiled.

"No more talk about the contest, I promise."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said.

"You owe me, you know."

She narrowed her eyes. She stood up and for the second time that day she jumped up and snogged him senseless in OPs.

"Are we OK?" she asked, dangling from neck.

He grinned. "We're OK."

She smiled and slid down. "Good. By the way, I think you're the sexiest, single or attached."

"Thank you," he said.

"You're welcome."

Vale rushed in. "OK. I've got all the menagerie girls, the canteen girls and the medical girls voting for me," he said. "I think we might be overworking those medics though. They seems a little...off."

Jess stifled a laugh.

"Did they look at you funny, Vale?" asked Becker.

"Yeah, they did. Do you know why?"

Becker smirked and looked at Jess, who blushed. "It's a long story, and should probably be told over a pint."

"Um, OK," said Vale. "Anyway, I just need to work on the lab girls, the research girls, and these girls," he said, looking around Ops.

"Well, you don't have to worry about them voting for Becker," said Jess. "It's clear that he's not eligible."

"Great, thanks Jess. I think it would also help to find the girl who sent the email."

"Good idea. I can find that no problem," she said, typing. "Here we go, follow the IP address and...what the heck?"

At the other end of the IP address was the sender of the email, giggling, laughing and falling out of HIS chair.

"Why'd you do this, Connor?" asked Abby. "You nearly started a war, plus you had people thinking Jess was a two-timer."

"I know," he said. "It worked better than I thought! I wish I could have seen their faces when Jess followed the email." He crawled back into his chair.

"Yeah, uh, Connor, don't you think Becker might be mad? Not to mention Vale? And Jess?"

"Probably." He sat there smiling at his brilliance, then slowly it donned on him. "Oh, Becker and Vale are trained in hurting and shooting and Jess is trained in stomping and kicking. I think I'm going somewhere safe, like hiding in the raptors cage."

Abby watched him duck out his lab's back door as she heard stomps and high heel clicks followed by several voices yelling, "Connor!"

"Hm," thought Abby. "Maybe I should get a "Whose the best butt kicker in the ARC?" going, "Male or Female." there might be a few surprises in that one."

"Abby!"

"Coming, Conn! I'll save you, again," she muttered.

The End, chapter one


	2. Chapter 2

The ARC's Sexiest Single Man, Chapter Two

"You're crazy, of course it's Becker," said Lucille, a lab assistant.

"Becker is hot," said Robin, a researcher, " but I think Matt Anderson is darn sexy. He got my vote."

Kimberly, a sous-chef in the canteen overheard their dinner discussion, "If you ask me, the sexiest man is Connor Temple."

Their were guffaws from the other women in the canteen. "Are you serious?"

Kimberly looked around, and to her surprise saw that she had stepped into a large debate. She was a quiet, pleasant young woman and hadn't meant to be in the middle of so many staring eyes.

"I, um, I just think he's...attractive. That's all," she said, going about her business and stocking a nearby cooler with food.

"I'm sorry, Kim, but Connor's more cute than sexy," said Robin.

"I agree with Kim," said nurse Beverly. "I've seen him without his shirt, and he looks good. Plus, there's something sexy about an intelligent man."

"Exactly," said Kim. "I think I'd vote for Connor," she said shyly.

"You can't vote for him, can you? I thought it was just single men, and married or engaged don't count." said Beverly.

"Oops. That what I get for reading my email at 4 in the morning," she said with a blush and chuckle.

Beverly laughed. "Don't worry about it, Kim. We've all read our emails blurry-eyed."

"I wonder who is winning?" asked Lucille.

"Ask Connor," said Jess, entering the canteen. "He's the one who sent the email." Behind her was Becker, Abby and Vale, and finally the aforementioned Connor Temple.

"What?" responded all the women, staring at Connor.

"It was a joke," said Connor weakly.

"Stupid joke," said Abby.

"And harmful," said Vale bitterly.

"A joke?" asked several female voices at once.

"It doesn't matter," said Beverly. "lots of women have been voting, Connor. You better add up the votes or you'll have a riot."

"Yes."

"That's right."

"Finish the contest!"

Connor was flabbergasted. The canteen had at least thirty women and everyone single one of them stared at him.

"No problem," he said loudly. "I'll finish the contest."

They clapped.

"Wow," said Connor.

"You stepped in something this time," said Becker.

Connor nodded.

"I think you should do one for not single men too," said Beverly.

"No, um, no," said Connor, looking at Abby.

"And you should define 'single,' on your contest website," said Jess.

"Oh, OK. I don't have a contest website."

"Then I'd get one, Connor," said Jess, again, nodding toward all the women.

"Yeah," said Connor. "It's probably a good idea. No problem."

"So, what is your definition of single?" asked Jess.

"Uh, anyone not married or getting married in the near future."

"Wrong!" cried Jess, stamping her foot. "A boyfriend is not available."

"True, but the email said single not available," said Robin.

"I agree," said Connor. "Action Man, Matt, and Vale are all eligible. I'm engaged so I'm not eligible, neither are Lt. Flowers or Lester because they're married."

Jess glared at him, and Vale sighed. "No offense, Captain, but I hate you."

Becker smiled. "Don't be bitter."

"Hold on, you don't know he's going to win," said Connor. "Matt's not bad looking, or you, or some of the other blokes around here. You're just going to have to wait and see."

"Or we can not wait and see," said Vale, looking around at the female staff. "I think I feel some uber Vale charm coming on. No offense, Sir, but I'm going to whip your butt."

"That's fine, Vale. It's about time you beat me at something," said Becker with a smirk.

"Be nice," said Jess.

"You just want him to win," said Becker.

"Yes, actually, I do."

"Why?" asked Abby.

"Because I'm insecure."

Becker "awed," and pulled her to him. "Don't be," and kissed her deeply.

"There's something sexy about a sensitive man," said Lucille, "and it helps if they can kiss like that. You got my vote."

"I'll have to rethink," said Kimberly. "Since my vote is not eligible."

"Who was your pick?" asked Abby.

Kimberly smiled. "I'm not saying. His fiance is a friend of mine, and she's a little scary," she said with a wink.

Abby laughed. "See, I'm not the only one who thinks you're sexy," she said to Connor.

He smiled. "I could rework the eligibility rules."

"Don't you dare," said Abby.

Jess huffed. "Excuse me. I need chocolate." She walked over to the candy shelves.

"Excuse me," said Vale. "I need to do some charming." He walked over to a table full of women and eased himself in between two. Laughter erupted at the table, as Vale went to work.

"Excuse me," said Becker. "I need to charm my girlfriend." He joined Jess at the checkout, whispering in her ear, and making her giggle.

"Excuse me, I'd like someone to discuss something other than how hot my male employees may or may not be," said Lester. "I understand I have you to thank for this nonsense, Connor."

"Wow. How did you find out so soon? No one but Abby knew til about fifteen minutes ago."

"The ARC is all a twitter with this nonsense Connor," said Lester. "I went to visit my friend the mammoth and the female menagerie workers stood in a group discussing whose biceps were the biggest. It was an alarming conversation to walk into. Plus, Monty was out of water. I'd berate your staff, Miss Matiland."

"Right away, Lester."

Connor sat with his mouth dropped open. "The whole ARC is talking about it? It was a joke."

"A bad joke," said Jess.

"A bloody inconvenient one, as well," said Lester. "Do you know my secretary had to retype my letter to the minister three times? It seems she was thinking about a certain Captain's abs."

Becker and Jess had rejoined the others in time for Becker to hear. He smirked, but Jess kicked him.

Lester pointed to them, "Look at it! Violence among my staff!"

"I'm sorry," said Connor.

"Next time, maybe you shouldn't email it to all the girls in the ARC," suggested Jess.

"Yeah," said Connor. "I never dreamed it would get this out of hand." He watched as Vale moved to another table and started smoozing. Another table started yelling among themselves. He heard names being argued.

"Becker!"

"Anderson!"

"Vale!"

Becker blushed, Jess stuffed three huge pieces of chocolate in her mouth, and Vale led the girls supporting him in chants of his name.

"I think you should find a way to quell this, Connor," said Lester. He began to walk out, but stopped. "Next time make sure I'm eligible and then rig it so I bloody win!"

Lester left the canteen.

"He really wouldn't let you rig it, would he?" asked Jess.

No one had time to answer, as Emily burst in. "Captain, we have a problem." She was flustered, and out of breath.

Just then an alert sounded and Matt's voice came over the loud speaker, "Security to research. Captain Becker to research."

Becker, Vale and the black shirts in the canteen all rushed out.

"Emily , what is it?" asked Abby.

"A fight between the research department ladies and ones from the computer department. It seems that some of the researchers tried to arrange the outcome of some contest by submitting answers dishonestly."

"They tried to hack into my email?" asked Connor.

"I do not understand, 'hack,' but they were unsuccessful with their attempt at cheating."

"I hope so," said Connor. "I like to think I'm hack proof."

"Nearly, Connor," said Jess with a smile.

"You said a fight?" asked Abby.

"Yes," said Emily. "One of the computer ladies said they had discovered the dishonesty and came to research to discuss it with the workers there. They did not discuss anything, however, but were fighting. Excuse me, I need to get back to Matt. He was outnumbered."

"How bad can a fight between girls be?" asked Connor.

"Connor, you're in enough trouble. Watch what you say about women, OK?" suggested Abby. "I'm going to go see how things are."

"I'm coming too," said Jess.

On their way to the research department, they walked past a few girls, bloody and clothes ripped, heading to medical.

"Wow," said Jess. "They were really fighting."

"Becker," said Abby seeing the Captain. "How is everything?"

"Calming down. Girls from both departments got roughed up."

"I think there's some damage to some books and tables," said Matt, coming out in the hall.

"Seriously?"

"Oh, yeah, Abby. It was a vicious fight."

"Over the sexiest contest?" asked Jess.

"Apparently," said Matt, looking slightly sheepish. "I thought you and me had some animosity," he said to Becker.

Becker chuckled and shook his head. "We have fans, apparently," he said.

"They were fighting over you?" asked Abby.

"I do not understand," said Emily.

"Some idiot started this contest Em, asking who was the best looking man in the ARC," said Jess.

"Single man," corrected Connor, walking down the hall.

"You!" snarled Matt.

Connor's eyes widened. "Hi, Matt," he said with a weak grin.

"Did you really cause all of this?" asked Matt.

"It was a joke."

"Joke's on you," said Becker. "We had minor injuries and some damage, all because of that damn contest.

"You're joking," said Connor.

"No," said Matt.

"I'm sorry. I never imagined it would be this crazy."

"Were the two sides really supporting the two of you?" asked Jess.

"It seems that way," said Vale, coming out with a few more injured women. "I'd just like to point out that no 'Vale girls' were involved. They're lovers not fighters," he said as he passed by on the way to medical.

Becker shook his head. "I can't believe this."

"Which of you did the cheating girls support?" asked Abby.

"Does it matter?" asked Matt.

Abby smiled. "You, huh?"

"Drop it," he said. "I'm going to inform Lester."

Matt left, followed by Emily who was saying, "It does not reflect upon you, Matt, if girls who fancy you are cheaters."

Jess giggled. "So who won the fight."

Becker smirked. "I'd say it was a draw. Just so you know, I gave my supporters a stern reprimand."

"Did you? That could lose you their support," said Jess.

"Do you still think I'm the sexiest?" he asked with a wink.

"Of course."

"Then I don't care," he said, kissing her.

Connor and Abby had walked past them to see the damage in research for themselves.

"Wow. Remind me never to fight with ARC women," said Connor.

"I would have thought you would already know that isn't wise," said Abby with a smile.

A few minutes later, they were all called into Lester's office.

"Thirteen staff members were seen by medical today, Temple," said Lester. "Three priceless volumes on paleontology and history were destroyed. One computer was damaged. Furniture was overturned and scuffed. And two departments, not to mention security, were interrupted. It's alright though, because it was all in the interest of learning who is the sexiest single man in the ARC. Whole civilizations will prosper from that nugget of information."

"Sorry."

"Thank you, Connor. That fixes everything," said Lester.

Becker was trying to contain his smirk, but he couldn't help it.

"I'm glad someone thinks this is amusing, Captain."

"Sorry."

"Again, that fixes everything."

Matt was less amused.

"We better do something before more of the ARC staff ends up in medical."

Becker shook his head. "Over some stupid contest."

"Indeed, we are talking about the complexity of the female creature, however. Nothing makes sense in that context."

"You do know there are three female creatures present, right?" asked Abby.

"Present company excepted. I hope," said Lester. "I agree the reason for the disruption of the ARC is ridiculous, but the fact remains that my facility is being disrupted. Fix it!"

"Fine. Simple fix: Connor sends an email calling the whole stupid thing off," said Becker.

"I considered that," said Lester. "I'm afraid that will cause a mutiny."

"How about we shorten the length of the contest and get it over with," suggested Jess.

"And when the supporters of the losers riot?" asked Matt.

"I still can't believe all this commotion," said Connor. "Even though it was a joke, I have to say the ladies aren't being very sportsmanlike."

"Maybe that's because they don't have a reason to be," said Becker.

"What do you mean?" asked Jess.

"Well, this is a contest. I've been in a few, not like this," he said with a glance to the others, "But in contests and races there is always a public element. A way for the fans to support their teams and get all their energy out."

"Like when we root for a team or yell in support while a racer runs," said Abby.

"Hm, I see where you're going," said Lester. "We have to give them an outlet for their emotions. I like it. Any ideas what?"

"Just have Connor announce the results at some sort of meeting," said Becker.

"And let the supporters cheer in support, so no matter who wins, they'll all have spent their energy and emotions and be OK with the outcome," said Matt.

"That's good," said Abby.

"I think, though, the men nominated will have to put in some sort of appearance," said Jess. Becker frowned. "I know. I'm not looking forward to that either, but I'm afraid just Connor reading the names won't be enough. You want to see your team when you watch a game, don't you?"

"I'm afraid Jess is right," said Lester. "Fine. Set a time, perhaps after one of the meals, to announce the results, and have the men voted on present. I want this done within the next three days. The ARC can't stand much more of this nonsense."

"I'll arrange it," said Jess. "We'll make an event out of it. It'll be fun."

"How come all the sudden you think it'll be fun?" asked Becker.

"Because now I get to plan it out and shop for the event, and make it mine. I'm in control," she said.

"You're scaring me," said Becker.

Jess smiled. "You're the one who's going to be on display like a beauty pageant girl."

"I'm not looking forward to this," said Matt.

Becker looked ill.

Jess, Abby, and Connor all smiled.

"This might actually be kind of fun," said Abby.

"Connor," said Becker.

"Yeah, Action Man?"

"Run."

Connor looked at him, then nodded, backed out of the office and ran down the stairs. Not long after Matt and Becker chased after him.

"Another normal day at the office," said Lester with a sigh.

The End, Chapter Two


	3. Chapter 3

Rating: T for adult situations

The ARC's Sexiest Single Man, Chapter Three

"How about just the suit jacket?" asked Jess.

"No. No suit. No suit jacket. No tie. No tuxedo. No penguin outfit."

"Becker, don't you want to look good?"

Becker smirked. "Are you telling me that I don't," he said, crawling across the bed in only his boxers.

Jess giggled. "Yes, but I certainly don't want you at the contest looking like this."

He smiled and grabbed her, pulling her down onto the bed with him.

"Don't," she said giggling. "Becker, we have to be at work soon."

Kissing down her neck he said, "So?"

"So, we don't have time for this."

"Wanna bet?"

Jess ran into Ops, as Lester stood before the ADD tapping his watch.

"I know, I'm late. I'm sorry," she said.

"You're late as well, Captain," said Lester. "Care to explain?"

"I'd be happy to, but I'm not sure you want to hear why we're late."

Jess sat in her chair, and blushed.

"Ew," said Lester, walking away from them.

Jess mouthed the words, "shame on you."

Becker grinned widely.

"Hey, guys," said Abby.

"Ready for the big day, Action Man?"

"No."

"Oh, well, you are going to be there, right? 4 o'clock?"

"Yes."

"Come on, be happy. By the end of the day you could be known as the ARC's sexiest single man," said Connor.

"If you make me wear a crown and sash I will kill you."

"Nah, nothing like that. Although, we should have thought of that!"

Becker growled at him.

"Nice talking to you, Becker," said Connor, walking quickly away.

Abby laughed. "Not too excited?" asked Abby.

Becker glared at her.

"I tried to get him dressed up, but he refused," said Jess.

"It's my uniform or nothing," said Becker.

"The ladies' probably wouldn't mind nothing," said Abby.

"In no earthly, possible way," said Jess, "and over my dead body."

Becker smirked. "Thank you Jess, for reminding me this whole mess has a silver lining."

"Driving me crazy is a silver lining?"

Becker kissed the top of her head, and said, "Yep. I'll see you later. Love you."

"Love you too."

As Becker walked out, Abby smiled. "He's come along way, Jess. You've done wonders."

Jess smiled. "I feel blessed every time he says those words. He's not great at expressing his feelings you know."

"I know, that's why I'm impressed."

"This thing this afternoon, it could be very hard for him," said Jess. "We're all teasing him, but for someone so disciplined and reserved, being ogled in public will be horrifying."

Abby smiled. "It's a good thing you're in charge, so it won't be a Chippendale's show."

"Hardly. It will be tasteful, but festive."

"And easy on the boyfriend-ogling I presume," said Abby.

Jess smiled, "Absolutely."

Jess arrived in the canteen early. A small podium had been put in front of the canteen along with a microphone. She hung a light blue fabric over the plain canteen walls, and clear fairy lights along the top edge.

She moved some large potted plants over by the podium. The plan was to have the men off to the side, where the wall began and then have them come out one at a time, walk down past the podium, walk on for another five feet or so, and then come back.

She needed a place to corral the men, so she took a large changing screen and placed it where she'd have the men. The antique screen was a lovely dark blue, decorated in an oriental fashion, with dragons and trees she thought manly enough for a sexy man contest.

She had one final touch. She lined the podium with fake grape leaves and fake grapes.

"Hello, Miss Parker," said Chef Bernie. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, I didn't do too much. I want it casual and friendly," she said. She really hoped it would be friendly and not resemble a riot.

"Well, the food is ready," said Bernie. "I've made some appetizers, snacks, and even some chocolate treats." He winked at Jess.

"You're so thoughtful. I can't wait. You make such yummy things. Thank you, so much."

"It was my pleasure. Oh, Mr. Lester even OK'd some light alcohol. I sent Ryan out to get some good beer and wine coolers."

"Wow," said Jess. "Maybe that will keep things friendly."

Bernie smiled, and nodded, then went back into the kitchen.

"The MC has arrived," said Connor, wearing a lime green jacket, with tails, and an orange bow tie.

"Wow. I need sunglasses," said Jess.

"I wanted to be eye-catching," he said.

"You are, Connor," said Abby, "You certainly are."

He smiled. "So, everything looks ready. We've got the stage, sort of, and where's the food?"

At that moment, Kimberly and several kitchen workers emerged from the kitchen carrying trays of food.

"Never mind," said Connor.

"Be sure to try the shrimp rolls, the cheese and bacon bits, and the grilled prawns," said Kimberly.

"Oh, we will," said Connor.

Ryan and several security men came in carrying boxes. "Just in time," said Ryan. "We've got somethings to wash it all down."

"That's a good beer," said Connor, taking a bottle. "I'd say we're ready for this party."

"Are _you_ ready?" asked Jess. "Do you have the results?"

"Yep, and I am sorry, but you will just have to wait like everyone else."

"Are the results accurate? Have you made sure the correct man will be declared the winner?"

"Yes, relax."

"Sorry, Connor. I just want the winner to be clear and definite. We don't want any more fights."

"Don't worry, everything is clear and honest. I promise."

"Good."

The ARC members started filtering in. Matt and Emily arrived, and several soldiers came in together, including Becker and Vale.

Jess collected the men who were voted on and gathered them behind the screen. In Matt and Becker's case she dragged them. In Vale's case she pried him away from girls he was smoozing til the last second.

"I think I should claim sabotage," he said.

"In what way, Vale?" asked Becker.

"You, Captain, would not let me wear something debonair."

"You're a soldier, remember? Besides, you're dressed the same as me, Thompson, Carlson, and Muscletti."

"Yeah, you're trying to keep me from standing out."

"Vale," said Matt, "you always stand out."

"Thank you, Mr. Anderson."

Becker shook his head. "Jess," he called out.

She heard him and came over. "Yes?"

"Remind me why I'm here?"

She smiled. "For the good of the ARC."

"Yeah, not good enough."

"OK, how about this? Whether you win or lose, I'm your prize." She smiled, leaned up and kissed him.

"Good incentive," he said.

"OK, people," said Connor into the microphone. "Settle down please. Thank you. First, I want to assure everyone that all the votes were counted fairly. Now, to save embarrassment, I am only calling out the total votes for the top three finalists."

Jess was relieved that no one booed.

"Now, let's have a hand for all the sexy men of the ARC. They all received votes, even though some were not eligible, and they will all walk out for your applause. Here we go, in no particular order. Let's hear it for...Sargent Carly Carlson!"

Carly emerged from behind the screen and walked out in front of Connor down to where Jess stood. Just before he reached her, he turned and walked back, but this time he went behind Connor. He waved to the crowd, then disappeared behind the screen, the crowd cheering the entire time.

Connor continued to call names and the men walked down just as Carly had.

"Private Thompson...Dr. Stanley...Sous Chef Ryan...our own esteemed director, James Lester!"

Lester walked out, waving and smiling. When he got to Jess she whispered, "Tell me you didn't vote for yourself."

"Someone had to. Even if I'm not eligible I owe it to the ladies to appear." He made a sharp, crisp turn in front of her, and walked behind Connor, waving the entire time.

"Next up: Connor Temple!" called Connor.

He left the podium, stood in front of it, posing and bowing, walked partly to Jess, then back to the podium.

"Thank you very much," he said. "To continue...Mr. Epstein...Private Muscletti...Dr. Bohm...Mr. Kein...and finally, Chef Bernie Rice!"

Bernie came out, wearing his chef hat but not his apron. He waved and smiled, giggling at Jess as he neared.

"I think they voted for the food," he said. Jess shook her head at the fifty-year-old, plump chef.

When Bernie was done, Connor called for quiet. "I'll bring out the finalists in no certain order. First, Matt Anderson!"

There was loud, boisterous applause as Matt walked out, bashful but smiling. Abby and Emily cheered loudly. He waved to them and smiled at Emily. He then walked quickly to Jess, smiling at her, then he walked quickly back, waving to the crowd before ducking behind the screen.

"Thank you," said Connor. "Next, Captain Becker!"

There was loud applause, hoots and whistles. Becker walked, smiling pleasantly and waving. As he walked, Jess could see the vein in his neck pop out and knew he was uncomfortable.

Becker looked at Jess and his smile erupted. His pace quickened as she smiled widely at him. When he reached her, he grabbed her hand. The crowd cheered louder at the action, which delighted Jess.

Becker smiled at the crowd, still holding her hand, then he squeezed it and let her go. He walked away, turning to look back once, as Jess smiled with glee.

"And our last finalist, Lieutenant Vale!"

Vale strutted out to loud applause, hoots, whistles, and screams of his name. His smile was dazzling as he waved. He took his time, turning round to show off all his good angles. He chanted his name, whipping the Vale girls into a frenzy. Finally, after taking three times longer than anyone to cross, he stood beside Jess.

"Don't be so shy," she teased.

He smiled and winked at her. Then crossed back just as slowly, crossing in front of Connor instead of behind, much to the chagrin of the MC.

Connor let the crowd cheer, and finally he called for quiet.

"I will now announce the man who came in third with 100 votes, which I don't get because we only have 210 women in the ARC so I guess some men have explaining to do. Please give it up for...Matt Anderson!"

Matt came out, smiling and waving, and looking relieved. He waved to Emily, and then walked behind the screen.

Connor spoke again, "Isn't he sexy! On Matt's behalf, I'd like to thank you all for not rioting. The second highest number of votes, 120. Seriously, did the men vote? I checked, and these are all honest votes from real ARC email addresses. And we had votes for men who weren't finalists, so we had too many votes to be all from the ARC women,"

"Connor!" cried Jess.

"What? Oh, sorry. Let's give up for Becker!"

Jess looked shocked. She couldn't believe it.

Becker came out, waved and smiled, and looked back to where Vale was jumping up and down. "Wait you're turn," said Becker, laughing.

"You lost," said Jess, walking down the 'stage' as Becker stood waving.

"Thank you for rubbing it in," he said with a grin.

"They're insane! How could they not vote for you! What's wrong with you?" she asked the crowd.

Becker shook his head, chuckled, then picked her up and carried her behind the screen.

"That means our winner," said Connor, "is Lieutenant Vale!"

Vale ran out, waving and screaming.

"The Lieutenant got 140 votes making him the ARC's Sexiest Single Man! He's also a champion at kissing up to women and more than a few men, I suspect. Lt. Vale, everybody!"

There was wild applause. Becker and Matt shook Vale's hand and patted him on the back. They both looked very happy hanging on to their girlfriends, while Vale basked in the adoration of many women.

"I still say they're crazy," said Jess.

"How can you be mad that I lost?" asked Becker.

"It's the principle. You are the sexiest," she said. "I'm offended."

Becker laughed, pulled her close and proceeded to make out with her right smack in the middle of the canteen.

Emily laughed. "I am as relieved as it appears Jess is, that my boyfriend will no longer be in the thoughts of so many other women."

Matt smiled. "Are you sure about that?" he asked with a smirk.

Emily elbowed him.

"Good job, Connor," said Abby.

"Abby, I'm concerned. We had over 400 votes but there are only 210 women."

"Please don't tell me you got it wrong."

"I didn't. All the votes were honest, and the computer counted them. There's no mistake."

"So?"

"So, apparently 190 men voted on the sexiest man of the ARC. I find that disturbing, especially since I got 37 votes myself."

Lester interrupted them. "I expect you to keep quiet the fact that I got one vote."

"You got more than one," said Connor.

"Did I?" asked Lester, pleased. "Well women do know a man of distinction, taste, and good breeding when they see one. How many did I get?"

"Oh, 12, actually."

"There are eleven extremely intelligent women in the ARC."

"Yeah," said Connor, than to Abby he whispered, "Mostly women any way."

"Eleven?" asked Abby.

"Never mind, Miss Maitland."

Vale strutted over. "So even with voters disobeying the single men only rule," he said, glancing at Lester and Connor. "I still won."

"Don't look so smug," said Becker. "You didn't win by much, and we didn't have to smooze and charm."

"I am Vale. I must charm, it is the way of my people," he said with a bright grin.

Becker just shook his head. "You're weird. Jess, can we go home?"

Jess nodded.

"What's the rush?" asked Vale.

Becker said, "I want to claim my prize."

Jess blushed.

"Prize? You don't get a prize. I'm the one who won."

Becker smirked, and he and Jess headed out of the canteen.

Vale watched them go.

"Hi, Lieutenant," said Meg, a menagerie aide. "Would you like a beer?"

"I would. Thank you. Aren't you sweet?"

"Excuse me," said Kimberly. "I thought you might be hungry, Lieutenant. I took the honor of making up a plate."

"Thank you, Kim," he said with that Vale smile. Kim blushed as she hurried back to the kitchen.

"Oh, Vale!" called a pretty young lady he recognized as a lab technician, "Come over here and sit for a moment."

Vale smiled. "It's good to be king."

The End


End file.
